Ms. JK Rowling, you have had quite the success.

ITS TRUE. CLICK HERE FOR THE FACEBOOK PAGE
[BY CLICKING THE LINK ABOVE, SEVERAL POPUPS WILL NOT APPEAR EVEN THOUGH IT IS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS]

Dear JK,

Please do not forget that I do not want a lawsuit. I am only joking, think of it as a parody. Let's face it, even you know that Harry Potter is 12.29x better than Twilight.

Most Sincerely,

Professor <--just kidding, it's not you...it's still just a student. Is this forgery?

Dear Instructor-

The truth is, we don't know who created Twilight. We could make up things and say that Stephenie Meyer wrote the series, but common---Afterall, who can't even spell their name correctly. Bam, isn't that total proof? Therefore, after intense research on the interwebz, I have found out a secret--it is actually JK Rowling who wrote this horendous series of books. As Harry Potter fans know, we all have that crazy voice and a scar to go with it---but do the characters of Twilight? Nope. Thus, they are make believe. And I'm not...JK'ing.

In response to my future audience, I would like to explain who would comment positively. Most likely---people with mustaches. People who have commonly been known to go into movie theatres with a cape and face paint that their mother helped them with. To them, we must celebrate and embrace their happiness. I compliment them and wish them my most sincere 'best'.

To my opponents--well, the way I wrote my page, it sounds like I might be an opponent. Therefore, we should embrase everyone. If someone were to say that JK did not write the book, or insult JK (AKA the replacement of Steven P. Jobs), I wish them well as I try to ban their IP address. If I am unable to ban their IP address, or block their username from my page (most likely), I would try to make them understand my viewpoint in an incredibly biased manor. As most internet fights are, I would probably act like a child in a foolish way, and if I find out I am wrong, I will try to delete the thread or try to change the subject.

If all else fails, I will try to make everyone come together as a community. This cause is not one that is rooted in hate. It is merely a celebration of the incredibleness of JK, AKA the boss. We want the truth, and will stop at nothing until we get it.

Depending on how serious I am at the time, like if this has potential to make money, I will act dedicated and incredibly serious about the topic. I have no intention to degrade a story or a potential business, and would try to make others understand my perspective while attempting to gain following. By gaining a free interview, I would be able to have free advertising and would do all I could to publish and make that interview as widely available as possible---that is, after my editing team has made it the perfect video (re: 1984)

To pitch a blogger to cover my page, I would not bribe them. I would like to repeat this--I would never bribe someone. Well, unless that is mailing them my copy of Twilight with all my notes inside of it, or the video I made of me watching all the twilight movies as my voice goes over the actual audio and I comment on the entire thing. I would explain how sincere of an effort the group has been and what we have done as a group to make the community and world a better place. I would relate it to social issues and anything major in the news so readers/watchers can connect with us and understand why we are such fanatics about such a crazy thing.